The Anticipation and Expectation of Love
Sometimes I wish I could write about how to keep your curls hydrated while living in a humid city or how to bake a tasty casserole and accompany it with pictures, but that is not what I feel. Also, this is not really what this blog is about. My last post was a few months back and there is a reason that its taken me so long to follow up. Several friends and strangers have called me, some sent texts, but most of you emailed and messaged me on Facebook. Thank you for your support and love. I appreciate the honesty in the stories you shared with me and I have to say I was greatly impacted. I have mulled over what to write next for two months. I currently have 14 drafts saved but today I decided just to share what is in my heart, again. I feel like if you were to take a flashlight and shine it into my soul right now, this is what you would see. I believe there is a time to be quiet and there is a time to declare. This is my declaration.
I spend a lot of time talking and hanging out with my girlfriends. It doesn't take long for the conversation to turn to men or lack of men. So, if you were to ask any of them, or my mom, or my sisters, what kind of guy they think I will marry; they will say the same attributes. I know they would because I've asked them. Several times.Ultimately, they have great expectations for me. Their expectation never mentions income or nationality, but deep things found in the inner man. They are anticipating meeting my husband also. I won't disappoint them! I encourage all of my single sisters to wait with expectation. Believe that the man God has for you is out there. He is alive and walking around. Don't give up and settle. Why should you? There are an unknown amount of people that have invested time in prayer for you concerning marriage. Don't give up.
When I gave my heart to the Lord, I lived in New York City but I wanted to be a missionary and live in the jungle and be sold out to Christ. The vision I had for my life was so uncommon that I thought, surely I will have to remain single to see this fulfilled. I thought if I did get married, it would be a national in whichever country I was living in and we would build a ministry together there. Well, fast forward a few years and I'm no longer in the jungle but the vision is just as real. My life is not common. I am not common.
Everything in my life has been leading to this and to him.
We pray about what kind of husbands we want: godly, kind, hardworking, and faithful. But do we pray as often and ask God to make us into wives for these husbands?
My prayer is that who is he, so will I be.
If he is an evangelist, then I will be beside him sharing the Good News and passing out tracts.
If he teaches, so do I.
If he is a Prophet, then call me Prophetess.
I am praying for the one whom my soul is knit to. I believe that there will be a unity of spirit and calling in my marriage.That it will be an example to those around me that it was worth the wait.Something is happening in my heart and life that I can't quite articulate.I try to explain and it just comes out like jabba jabba tslkelam kaboom!
I just know that in the beauty of every moment of everyday He is with me. He is leading me and changing me from the inside out. The love of God is present and it is powerful.
Marriage is where I am headed.
I write this thinking of all of my beautiful and single sisters. Women who are being used mightily for the kingdom, who serve God and are faithful to Him. Women who see answers to prayers instantly but this prayer is still yet unanswered.
Don't give up. People around you are quietly and some not so quietly watching, waiting, to get a glimpse of him.
Who will he be?
Hold on.
Last year, when my friend Jennifer was in town, we spent a day going to thrift stores. In the last one, I went over to be book section and found a treasure.I opened the book and inside was a dollar. The sticker on the cover read $.25 so I had enough to buy my book, two books for Jenn and even had change leftover. So, last weekend, after a year on the shelf, I began reading a book that read me.
The subject of the book is relationships and letting go of unhealthy and worldly mindsets when it comes to dating. I'm not trying to promote this book but I must say that last weekend after I finished reading it I was grieved. I saw just how impatient I've been and how important it is to allow the foundation of a relationship to be built by Christ. Sometimes, I just want it to be over. I want to see him, accept his proposal and get married next weekend. But honestly, I don't think that is going to happen for me because I want to enjoy the little moments, share secrets, and fall in love. I want to know what he is about and vice versa. I desire a testimony not built on emotions or hormones but rooted and grounded in Truth. I have purposed in my heart and life to allow God to bring the right one.
There's a lot of work to be done, a foundation isn't built overnight. Many storms come against marriages and I want mine to be built strong.Love is amazing and I welcome it. There must be freedom to be ourselves. When he takes you out to eat, don't be shy and eat a salad, get ribs! Eat, have fun, laugh loudly, be yourself. You're beautiful. Stop listening to people who try to give you unrealistic expectations about love. Think about it: If you eating ribs is deal breaker for him, then how will he be able to stand beside you as your bear his children?
I spend a lot of time talking and hanging out with my girlfriends. It doesn't take long for the conversation to turn to men or lack of men. So, if you were to ask any of them, or my mom, or my sisters, what kind of guy they think I will marry; they will say the same attributes. I know they would because I've asked them. Several times.Ultimately, they have great expectations for me. Their expectation never mentions income or nationality, but deep things found in the inner man. They are anticipating meeting my husband also. I won't disappoint them! I encourage all of my single sisters to wait with expectation. Believe that the man God has for you is out there. He is alive and walking around. Don't give up and settle. Why should you? There are an unknown amount of people that have invested time in prayer for you concerning marriage. Don't give up.
When I gave my heart to the Lord, I lived in New York City but I wanted to be a missionary and live in the jungle and be sold out to Christ. The vision I had for my life was so uncommon that I thought, surely I will have to remain single to see this fulfilled. I thought if I did get married, it would be a national in whichever country I was living in and we would build a ministry together there. Well, fast forward a few years and I'm no longer in the jungle but the vision is just as real. My life is not common. I am not common.
Everything in my life has been leading to this and to him.
We pray about what kind of husbands we want: godly, kind, hardworking, and faithful. But do we pray as often and ask God to make us into wives for these husbands?
My prayer is that who is he, so will I be.
If he is an evangelist, then I will be beside him sharing the Good News and passing out tracts.
If he teaches, so do I.
If he is a Prophet, then call me Prophetess.
I am praying for the one whom my soul is knit to. I believe that there will be a unity of spirit and calling in my marriage.That it will be an example to those around me that it was worth the wait.Something is happening in my heart and life that I can't quite articulate.I try to explain and it just comes out like jabba jabba tslkelam kaboom!
I just know that in the beauty of every moment of everyday He is with me. He is leading me and changing me from the inside out. The love of God is present and it is powerful.
Marriage is where I am headed.
I write this thinking of all of my beautiful and single sisters. Women who are being used mightily for the kingdom, who serve God and are faithful to Him. Women who see answers to prayers instantly but this prayer is still yet unanswered.
Don't give up. People around you are quietly and some not so quietly watching, waiting, to get a glimpse of him.
Who will he be?
Hold on.
Last year, when my friend Jennifer was in town, we spent a day going to thrift stores. In the last one, I went over to be book section and found a treasure.I opened the book and inside was a dollar. The sticker on the cover read $.25 so I had enough to buy my book, two books for Jenn and even had change leftover. So, last weekend, after a year on the shelf, I began reading a book that read me.
The subject of the book is relationships and letting go of unhealthy and worldly mindsets when it comes to dating. I'm not trying to promote this book but I must say that last weekend after I finished reading it I was grieved. I saw just how impatient I've been and how important it is to allow the foundation of a relationship to be built by Christ. Sometimes, I just want it to be over. I want to see him, accept his proposal and get married next weekend. But honestly, I don't think that is going to happen for me because I want to enjoy the little moments, share secrets, and fall in love. I want to know what he is about and vice versa. I desire a testimony not built on emotions or hormones but rooted and grounded in Truth. I have purposed in my heart and life to allow God to bring the right one.
There's a lot of work to be done, a foundation isn't built overnight. Many storms come against marriages and I want mine to be built strong.Love is amazing and I welcome it. There must be freedom to be ourselves. When he takes you out to eat, don't be shy and eat a salad, get ribs! Eat, have fun, laugh loudly, be yourself. You're beautiful. Stop listening to people who try to give you unrealistic expectations about love. Think about it: If you eating ribs is deal breaker for him, then how will he be able to stand beside you as your bear his children?
The essence of this blog echoes exhortations of Scriptures like Eph. 3:20 and that all things are possible! Pray about everything, believe God for anything - and why not! It's so wonderful to hear words of faith and trust in God's goodness and sovereignty in this particular area instead of the cynicism and dissecting analyses of today's culture. Bless the Lord.
ReplyDeleteI also consider the notches so to speak that match two people like a zipper in some ways - not identical, but perfectly fit for each other, and yet in the very same couple, differences and diversities that are almost fundamental and so deep and invisible, that you wonder that since only God could see them, why did He see fit to bind these differences together for life? I mean, variety is a spice, but is He laughing at how this plays out? I'm amazed that for all the things I cried out to the Lord for that He answered, and unique things no one else could've known, and I didn't ever imagine possible for me, and then the things I would've taken for granted completely and so I never thought to talk to God about them, because they were so secondary. Oh Lord... your ways are higher than ours, and beyond knowing. But here we are. All walking this life out, in a three-legged "race" or not, by the grace of God. Amen. Ps- would love to hear you tell me in person how to keep your curls hydrated in a humid city - only over coffee on your front porch with you in person though. ;) ti voglio tanto bene Roshunda Royston...
Hannah, I would love for you to come and visit! Thank you for your beautiful and kind words.I believe that when you step out in spite of fear, you become courageous and your life is changed.I just hope this blog will be used to touch and encourage to people to faithfully live their lives boldly..and with humor.
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